Marketing and Advertising

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"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself.
No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can."

<whispers> "Kill yourself."
"....Seriously though, if you are, do."

"Aaahh, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, Okay? - Kill Yourself - seriously."

"You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously."
"No, This is not a joke!"
You're going, "there's going to be a joke coming,"

"There's no fucking joke coming!. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage.
You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself.
It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself."

"Planting seeds."

"I know all the marketing people are going,"
"....he's doing a joke..."
"There's no joke here whatsoever!"
Suck a tail-pipe,
Fucking hang yourself,
borrow a gun from a friend
I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations!"

"I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too,
"Oh, you know what Bill's doing? He's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart."

"Oh man! I am NOT doing that. You fucking EVIL scumbags!"

"Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing."


Oooooh! the anger dollar. HUGE! Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that.

God, I'm just caught in a fucking web!

Ooh! the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar...

How do you live like that?
I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?

From Bill Hicks's skit "Marketing and Advertising" off of his comedy album "Arizona Bay" (?)

But that's the problem with this country, one of the many, but this whole
issue of sexuality and pornography, which I don't understand what
pornography is, I really don't. To me, pornography is, you know, spending
all your money and not educating the people in America, and spending it
instead on weapons, that's pornographic to me, that's totally filthy, and
etc., etc., down the line, you all in your fucking hearts know the goddamned
arguments, okay, great. But no one knows what pornography is. Supreme Court
says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual
thought, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes
sexual thought. Hmm. Sounds like... every commercial on television, doesn't
it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial-I'm
not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, maybe that's the connection
they're trying to make. What? You've all seen that Busch beer commercial,
where the girl in the short hot-pants opens the beer bottle on her belt
buckle, leaves it there, and it foams over her hand and over the bottle and
the voice over goes, "Get yourself a BUSCH." Hmm. You know what that looks
like, nah, no way. I'll tell you the commercial they'd like to do, if they
could, and I guarantee you, if they could, they'd do this, right here.
Here's the woman's face, beautiful. Camera pulls back, naked breast. Camera
pulls back, she's totally naked. Legs apart. Two fingers, right here, and it
just says, "Drink Coke." Now I don't know the connection here, but goddamn
if Coke isn't on my shopping list that week. "Dr. Pepper." "Snickers,
satisfying." (Mouth-guitars "I Can't Get No Satisfaction") Damned if I'm not
buying these products! My teeth are rotting out of my head, I'm glued to the
television, I'm as big as a fucking couch. "More Snickers, more Coke!"
That's what I find ironic, too, is that people who are against these things
that cause sexual thought are generally fundamentalist Christians, who also
believe you should be fruitful and multiply. Boy, they walk a tight rope
every day, don't they? "How do we be fruitful and multiply and not think
about it?" "We could sing hymns during it." (sings) "One stroke at a time,
sweet Jesus. One stroke at a time, sweet Lord."
I did that joke in Alabama, in Fife, and these three rednecks met me after
the show. "Hey, buddy! C'mere! Mr. Funny-man, c'mere! Hey, buddy, we're
Christians, and we don't like what you said." "So then forgive me." Later,
when I was hanging from the tree.
Here is my final point, oh thank you God. About drugs, about alcohol, about
pornography, whatever that is. What business is it of yours what I do, read,
buy, see, or take into my body as long as I do not harm another human being
on this planet? And for those of you out there who're having a little moral
dilemma in your head about how to answer that question, I'll answer it for
you - none of your fucking business. Take that to the bank, cash it, and go
fucking on a vacation out of my life.

Off of Relentless by Bill Hicks

<flickr limit=10>marketing</flickr>