From s23
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Anger is an interesting emotion. If you pay attention to it, it will teach you a lesson about yourself.

Where there is anger there is an un-met need, and where there is an un-met need there is fear.

Try to find the hidden need and abandon re-acting to the strong anger emotion directed to you or from you. Your mission is to Try to address the Need (Unless the anger esculates to a violent attack, then do what you need to do).

Ren jia qi wo wo bu qi.
Wo ruo sheng qi zhong ta ji
Qi chu bing lai mei ren ti
Xiang xiang hai shi bie sheng qi.
-- Chinese Poem
A translation:
Should someone provoke me, I will not become angry.
To become angry would be to fall into his trap.
With anger comes loss of good health, which is irreplaceable.
Thinking about it, it is better not to become angry.

Verbal Abuse is a good example of hidden needs that are not being satisfied.
The Fear Litany is a useful tool in moments of triggered emotions.