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    Some stuff i wrote on a different nework that I dont participate much in anymore:

    File: [KunDa/TxtFilez#Beginning 1. A Beginning]
    File: [KunDa/TxtFilez#Lapse 2. "Activation" or "Lapse Into the Rote"]
    File: [KunDa/TxtFilez#Timerich 3. Time Rich]
    File: [KunDa/TxtFilez#Outtheside 4. OutTheSide]
    File: [KunDa/TxtFilez#ADD 5. A.D.D.]

    A beginning
    4/30/2004 12:45 PM [#Beginning]
    "A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct." -Irulan "Dune" [frank herbert]

    I agree. See..deep inside I would like this "place" to tingle with "life" and to light candles of clarity which turn into forest fires of change. It would be cool to think that I could drop a few lines of characters that are discernable to others and once deciphered can inspire an action or a shift in ones behavior. But to be brutually honest and quell the ego reflex. The need to feel things to, to covet them, its like feeding an instiable mouth. "FEED ME SEYMOUR!"

    I just really want to understand why i am not silent with in myself. "You built the trap, you know the way out". I think i am trying to change myself with the information already contained within me. "All know the way, But few actually walk it". I think within..i carry the seed of my ancestry..the genetic makeup passed on and on and on, sort of what some folks think the holy grail really is, not a real physical cup, but the seed, the map, the instructions.

    "I find it my duty to share information at all times so we can all evolve and get the fuck off this planet" -B. Hicks

    I'M not that cynical..and not in such a hurry to leave a place I probably take alot for granted. (just stopped to read back what i wrote and noticed i wrote 666 chars. heh. since then i modified it..but wtf..why not keep the landmark, look at columbus).

    Reading back i see the threads thread in and out as different expressions try to surface. Basically..to bring it home, weave it into one big shoelace fiber. ... Where was I? yea..uuhmm..ok... There is expectation to write a "MindFuck" passage. But thats like playing music for the audience, where is you attention, intention (your 'Kavana')? It not on the idea expressed anymore but on the subsequent 'wave of mutilation' that you hope to create. Well fuck that. Remember the mother sea-turtle and her egg laying practices.

    Stop-Drop&Roll..Away. yea.

    Activation' or 'Lapse into the Rote'
    5/2/2004 6:11 AM [#Lapse]
    It seems to me routines are like the next rung on the monkey bars for me. Need to reach it as soon as possible.

    limbo == (fear, uncertainty)

    but funny enough this is when i learn peculiar stuff about myself. yet, it's prob. like hiking the AT with a schedule. you enjoy a scene for a alotted amount of time and then move on since you need to make your next base camp and reach your supply drop precisely.

    The things i learn i think are due to activation of parts of my being/mind that are dormant. Sleeping circuits.

    I would like to 'light-up' parts of myself more often. Intentionaly.

    I've read of ways to do it. For example, i was to think, imagine what it is like to live in someone elses nervous system. Their reality. I was to immerse myself in the following realities: Fringe-Right-Wing white male, a hippy nihilist, an urban shaman, a psychic, a ufologist. Their biases. Their knee-jerk reflexes. the limitations of living as they do. The arguments they define themselves by.

    Or I was to put myself in situation that I was intentionaly to learn from. Be them mundane or foriegn. To become receptive to more 'data' from the environment. The objective was not to lapse into the rote. Exmaples: Go back-country camping, or fasting for 2 days, a new hobby, interview an eldery person, take care of an infant, be-freind an 'enemy' etc..

    It all depends on when i will 'clap on the clapper(tm)' of my mind/heart.

    <clap clap>

    Time Rich
    5/3/2004 8:18 AM [#Timerich]
    Does "Time" dominate and dictate us? Actually, some call it 'Time/Space', and reffer to location as coordinates on a time/space grid.

    Ever think about what it would be like to live a life outside the 24 hr. reality? Where Day and Night are simply, exposure and the lack of; to light/the Sun? That we are rotating in an orbit?

    Notice how when you were younger years seemed SOOOOOO LOOONG.. and it took forever for your birthday and your favorite holidays to come around. How about recess?!? Didnt it always take forever? And the summer vacation..Over before you got your shoes on.

    I've read that in some initiations into certain forms of belief systems and torture techniques (basically both a form of brain-change or mind-altering activites), that the subject goes through a phase where HIr (timothy leary substituted his/her for HIr) conception of time is purposely distorted. It has some sort of effect on the organism as a whole, maybe a vaccum is created where the concept of living in a time oriented existance? maybe what is left is a 'window into the interworkings of a nervous system' ready to be imprinted with a new system.
    Or not..<shrug>
    I rememeber seeing a tv program when i was younger about time and perceptions. It was so intersting to me since it pointed out that the more one is stimulated or lets say 'aware' by their environment an effect of 'slowing down of time' occurs within them. For example, a wide-eyed child taking it all in, so much signals and data from all over the place. Unfamiliararity and curiousity beckoning investigation. [To me its like being on a job the first day, it all slows down as I am paying fierce attention to the tasks I am to learn.] The program also explained the reason the odds of escaping near death for a fly, are so high. A fly has many eyes, i do not know the number but it is impressive. It has an amazing peripheral vision range. It has so much signals hitting its vision all the time constantly updating what is going on literaly all around it, the fly's reality to us would be as if we switched to slow-motion observer. Time slowed down since you are experiencing each moment so richly. Your 'bandwidth' increases the 'throughput' of signals. (i dislike getting 'anthropomorphic' or whatever its called, using machine jargon for explaining human body stuff)
    Point is:
    Details have details and those details have details and so on.

    This is what i read some cultures refer to as: 'Time Rich'.
    The ability to operate at a different rythm and experience what seems to be 'Everything'.

    ok..time's up for me..off i go
    Case in point: futurama episode
    "300 Big Boys"
    watch the end

    5/15/2004 12:34 PM[#Outtheside]
    yea so..
    after a week of living in a tent
    all i can say is...

    5/28/2004 [#ADD]
    Rant time, apropos attention,
    have you noticed how these days our collective attention span is so narrowed and short, we only understand information in soundbytes.

    What could this be true of?
    Check out the nightly news. Information needs to be fit into segments. It needs to be edited otherwise (It's edited already)

    How about Candidates running for official positions in, lets say, Government?
    Debates are vigourously timed with buzzers and moderators. A candidate has to squeeze his/her reply in segments that are intervaled inbetween long commercial breaks.
    Remember your School debate team?
    Remember how fucked up it was to try to present information coherently and sincerely within the allotted time given?

    It bothers me how amazingly short my attention span is and how limited my cognitive retention is.

    I am very tired of this.

    hmm..where was I going with that?


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