Religion

You probably already know this but i still liked to have it on here, cause its funny and to some extent really contains info to compare religions,doesnt it?

THE COMPLETE AND UNCENSORED SHIT LIST
Agnosticism What is this shit?

Altruism Want some shit?

Amish Shit dost occur.

Apatheism I don't give a shit.

Atheism I don't believe this shit.

Bahá'í All shit is truly shit.

Buddhism Shit happens.

Baptist Fundamentalism Shit happens because the Bible says so.

Capitalism How much is this shit?

Cartesianism I shit, therefore I am.

Catholicism If shit happens, you deserved it.

Classical Marxism The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna dish it back out again. OR The workers take all the shit in capitalistic systems, nationalize it during Socialism but will distribute it equally when Communism is established.

Communism It's everybody's shit.

Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit happens."

Creation science We have proof that God created all the shit that happens.

Contract theory If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to shit.

DADISM Your mom knows her shit. (did he mean Dadaism?) (or maybe Neo-Dadism;))

Darwinism We came up from shit.

Descartes I shit therefore I am.

Dianetics Shit your way to a better life.

Dominicans Believe in shit, or we'll boil you in it.

Dyslexianism Hits shapnep.

Discordianism This MIGHT be shit, but is instead a fuzzy 1955 Mustang.

Logical-Positivism Shit = S+H+I+T

Marines It's not just shit, it's an adventure.

McCarthyism Are you now, or have you ever been, shit? (-> Neo-mccarthyism)

Mennonite None of this modern shit now.

Momism You'll eat this shit and like it!

Mormonism Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit.

Murphyism Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place.

Narcissism My shit don't stink.

Neo-Marxism Shit is a product of social oppression and false needs, produced by advertising and politics.

Nietzsche If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not shit.

Nihilism Everything is shit.

Noxonism Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it.

Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south. (UH?)

Objectivism (Ayn Rand) Shit is Shit.

Paganism ''Shit happens. And is a part of nature.''

Panglossianism This is the best of all possible shits.

Platonism There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.

Protestantism Let shit happen to someone else.

Rastafarianism Shit happens, but if it's all right with Jah, it's all right with me OR "Let's smoke this shit."

Robinism Holy shit Batman!

Rousseau Only natural shit is worth shit.

Shintoism ''Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect.''

Skinnerism If eat then shit.

Solipsism All this shit is a creation of my imagination. OR The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit happens.

Spoonerism Hit shappens.

Stalinism The state treats you like shit.

Subgenius Bob happens -- SO GIVE ME SOME SLACK!

Surrelism Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick.

Scientific Creationism Shit happens all at once

Secular-Humanism Shit happens, but there's a rational explanation.

Taoism The shit that happens is not the true shit.

THE-FORCE Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the shit.

TV-Evangelism You need our shit, but it'll cost you.

Unitarianism There's only one shit, but you can have it happen any way you want.

Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest shit for the greatest number.

Vandalism I'm gonna wreck this shit!

Voodooism Shit doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you

Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for shit to happen.

Yuppieism ''It's my shit! All mine!''

Zen What is the sound of shit happening?

COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF WORLD RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHIES
Taoism Shit Happens

Confucianism Confucius says, "Shit Happens."

Zen What is the sound of shit happening?

Yoga There's a full lotus shit happening.

Transcendental Meditation ''Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.......''

Hinduism This shit has happened before.

Islam If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Catholicism If shit happens, you deserve it.

Fundamentalism If shit happens, they deserve it.

Protestantism Let shit happen to someone else.

Episcopalianism When shit happens, make it tasteful.

Judaism Why does shit always happen to US?

Mormonism ''Shit's going to happen. Stockpile.''

Unitarianism Deal with your own shit happening.

Twelve-step programs ''We're powerless over shit. Turn shit over.''

Astrology Uranus transits.

Perestroika ''We can't control shit. Let shit happen.''

Agnosticism Shit may or may not be happening; we don't know shit.

Atheism No shit.

Gnosticism Know shit.

Own additions
Absenteeism I'm not gonna be there when shit happens (Absenteismus. Die Kunst des Krankfeierns in den italienischen Klassenkämpfen.)

Nuwaubianism Shit comes from Dr.Seuss

Oomotism I feel sorry for my shit, it should see something beautiful. (Onisaburo Deguchi)

--> Category:Religion

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