Smagmoid Kids Club



Smagmoid Kids Club is a Discordian youth group.

History
According to The Smagmoid Kids Club Handbook, Smagmoid Boys or "Moid Boys" was formed on 20 August 2005 by Captain “Sesame Seed” Rogers, and Smagmoid Girls or "Smag Girls" was started on 4 September 2005 by Sister Hooter. But Sister Hooter, disciplinarian for Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception School for Unwed Mothers, claimed the idea first. This was a claim that Captain Rogers, conductor of the Bonobo Boys Band in Boston, disputed.

After a conflict that lasted for two years, the two founders decided to merge their clubs, which will be effective as of 3 October 2007. This is in honor of Luna Wilson, the 15-year-old daughter of Robert Anton Wilson and Arlen Riley Wilson who's murdered body was found on that date in 1976.

Membership
According to the handbook, 'The Club is open to all boys and girls of any gender who are between the ages of X and Y.' Specific ages are not specified in reflection of the anti-ageist nature of the group.

Motto
The Motto of both Smagmoid Boys and Smagmoid Girls was “Be Protected from Everything.” But upon the planned merger, the Motto became “Be Prepared for Anything.”  This proved to be much more useful. (And wasn’t as subject to prosecution as keeping the kids locked in the closet all day had been.)

Mascots
The mascots are Smagina or 'Gina' and Moidenis or 'Denis.'

Structure
The most basic unit is the nest, which consists of five to 10 members. Five to 10 nests compose a tree; five to ten trees compose a grove; and all the groves of a nation or group of nations compose a forest. All the forests combined make up the club.

Each group forms a name for itself, such as Bluebeard's Nest, Nest of the Pink Vipers, Napping Birch Tree, or Forest Vatican.

Merit badges
Badges a member can earn include Community Service, First Aid, Brain Surgery, Writing, Poetry, Punning, Bicycling, Jockey, Jock Strap, Multiplication, Algebra, Training Bra, Estory, Gymnastics, Knot Tying, Sewing, Wedgies, Science, Fnord, Music, Discord, Dancing, Animal Husbandry, Animal Noises, Camping, Cooking, Chili Making, Farting, Toilet Papering, Babysitting, Child Proofing, Child Photography, Puberty, Origami, Swimming, Diving, Sink, Painting, Artillery, Scuba, Fiber Arts, Underwater Basket Weaving, Jumping, Jakes, Calvin Ball, and Binky the WonderSkull Posers.