Discordian Calendar

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================================================================== I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things Isaiah 45:7

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The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, 'through seeing, they may not see; through hearing, they may not understand. Luke 8:10

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Onwards Christian Soldiers, Onwards Buddhist Priests. Onward, Fruits of Islam, Fight till you're deceased. Fight your little battles. Join in thickest fray; For the Greater Glory, of Dis-cord-i-a. Yah, yah, yah, Yah, yah, yah, yah. Blfffffffffffft! http://www.fringewire.com/pics/midget.jpg

-- An Erisian Hymn by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB Episkopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS

.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.

PERPETUAL DATE CONVERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CALENDAR

Seasons

1.Chaos - Patron Apostle Hung Mung 2.Discord - Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo 3.Confusion - Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti 4.Bureaucracy - Patron Apostle Zarathud 5.The Aftermath - Patron Apostle The Elder Malaclypse

Days of the Week* 1.Sweetmorn 2.Boomtime 3.Pungenday 4.Prickle-Prickle 5.Setting Orange

(* The days of the week are named from the five Basic Elements:  sweet, boom, pungent, prickle, and orange)

HOLYDAYS A) APOSTLE HOLYDAYS            B) SEASON HOLYDAYS 1) Mungday                     1) Chaoflux 2) Mojoday                     2) Discoflux 3) Syaday                      3) Confuflux 4) Zaraday                     4) Bureflux 5) Maladay                     5) Afflux Each occurs on the 5th         Each occurs on the 50th day of the Season              day of each Season

C) ST. TIB'S DAY - occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted   between the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos.

SM BT PD PP SO                        SM BT PD PP SO                    -- -- -- -- --                         -- -- -- -- -- Jan 1  2  3  4  5   1  2  3  4  5 Chs Jul  5  6  7  8  9  40 41 42 43 44 Cfn 6 7  8  9 10   6  7  8  9 10         10 11 12 13 14  45 46 47 48 49     11 12 13 14 15  11 12 13 14 15         15 16 17 18 19  50 51 52 53 54     16 17 18 19 20  16 17 18 19 20         20 21 22 23 24  55 56 57 58 59     21 22 23 24 25  21 22 23 24 25         25 26 27 28 29  60 61 62 63 64     26 27 28 29 30  26 27 28 29 30         30 31  1  2  3  65 66 67 68 69     31  1  2  3  4  31 32 33 34 35     Aug  4  5  6  7  8  70 71 72 73  1 Bcy Feb 5  6  7  8  9  36 37 38 39 40          9 10 11 12 13   2  3  4  5  6 10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45         14 15 16 17 18   7  8  9 10 11     15 16 17 18 19  46 47 48 49 50         19 20 21 22 23  12 13 14 15 16     20 21 22 23 24  51 52 53 54 55         24 25 26 27 28  17 18 19 20 21     25 26 27 28* 1  56 57 58 59 60         29 30 31  1  2  22 23 24 25 26 Mar  2  3  4  5  6  61 62 63 64 65     Sep  3  4  5  6  7  27 28 29 30 31 7 8  9 10 11  66 67 68 69 70          8  9 10 11 12  32 33 34 35 36     12 13 14 15 16  71 72 73  1  2 Dsc     13 14 15 16 17  37 38 39 40 41 17 18 19 20 21  3  4  5  6  7         18 19 20 21 22  42 43 44 45 46     22 23 24 25 26   8  9 10 11 12         23 24 25 26 27  47 48 49 50 51     27 28 29 30 31  13 14 15 16 17         28 29 30  1  2  52 53 54 55 56 Apr  1  2  3  4  5  18 19 20 21 22     Oct  3  4  5  6  7  57 58 59 60 61 6 7  8  9 10  23 24 25 26 27          8  9 10 11 12  62 63 64 65 66     11 12 13 14 15  28 29 30 31 32         13 14 15 16 17  67 68 69 70 71     16 17 18 19 20  33 34 35 36 37         18 19 20 21 22  72 73  1  2  3 Afm 21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42         23 24 25 26 27   4  5  6  7  8     26 27 28 29 30  43 44 45 46 47         28 29 30 31  1   9 10 11 12 13 May  1  2  3  4  5  48 49 50 51 52     Nov  2  3  4  5  6  14 15 16 17 18 6 7  8  9 10  53 54 55 56 57          7  8  9 10 11  19 20 21 22 23     11 12 13 14 15  58 59 60 61 62         12 13 14 15 16  24 25 26 27 28     16 17 18 19 20  63 64 65 66 67         17 18 19 20 21  29 30 31 32 33     21 22 23 24 25  68 69 70 71 72         22 23 24 25 26  34 35 36 37 38     26 27 28 29 30  73  1  2  3  4 Cfn     27 28 29 30  1  39 40 41 42 43 31 1  2  3  4   5  6  7  8  9     Dec  2  3  4  5  6  44 45 46 47 48 Jun 5  6  7  8  9  10 11 12 13 14          7  8  9 10 11  49 50 51 52 53 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19         12 13 14 15 16  54 55 56 57 58     15 16 17 18 19  20 21 22 23 24         17 18 19 20 21  59 60 61 62 63     20 21 22 23 24  25 26 27 28 29         22 23 24 25 26  64 65 66 67 68     25 26 27 28 29  30 31 32 33 34         27 28 29 30 31  69 70 71 72 73     30  1  2  3  4  35 36 37 38 39

[1991 = 3157] [Next St. Tibs Day in 3158]

For more disinformation, visit http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/

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if you have any *nix system under your hands:

DDaTe

or best: echo `ddate` > /etc/profile
 * man ddate
 * ddate
 * ddate +%.

Emperor Norton http://yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au/~acb/norton/

DeBian: apt-get install ddate

ddate.exe http://www.neuro.gatech.edu/users/cwilson/cygutils-package/

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Dear Applicant,

First and foremost, I would like to thank you for applying for the __________ position offered recently in __________ Magazine.

As the President, CEO, and sole employee of the International Mummu Corporation and Empire, further known as the Third Raelian Supplicant of Unimatrix 23, I take great pride in personally reviewing each and every resume from all applicants.

As you can imagine, our hiring protocols are quite stringent which makes for a very competitive environment. Therefore, I regret to inform you that you are no longer being considered for employment at this time.

The results of the required drug test is the primary reason you are no longer being considered for employment. Unfortunately, the tests show that you have a system entirely devoid of any illegal chemical substances. The International Mummu Corporation thrives on the creativity of our employees and our studies have shown that certain types of hallucinatory chemicals enhance this inner creative fervor.

Should positions be available in the future, we welcome you to resubmit your resume and application.

Regards, Johnny Mu

The International MumMu Corporation

P.S. I have enclosed a free sample of one of our finest products from our Alamount plant. You may find it useful and illuminating.

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= "Many mind-altering substances can be bought in the supermarket."

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"And the Lord stood upon the mountain top, and looking down on this followers he spoke:                    "HAIL ERIS! ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!"- Maz

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