Verbal Abuse

A neat skill to learn how to identify. Verbal Abuse is very subtle. Its not like a punch in the stomach or face, those leave physical marks. Verbal abuse doesn't leave any external evidence. Not just speaking about teasing and public humiliation. No..those are still occurences that one can be aware of. I think they even can be used in court (Im not sure what the charge is, but you can't talk shit about someone in a commercial since they can sue you, anyone know what im reffering to?)

I'm talking about the hidden 'diplomatic' way of inflicting abuse.

Example: (need a more crafty one) "If you really loved me, then you wouldn't be on the computer all the time"

Q: What is this sentence really expressing? What are the Presuppositions? A: You don't really love me B: You are on the computer all the time (and that frustrates me)

Most people would make the mistake of addressing the computer part. "I'm not on the computer all the time!". By not acknowledging the most important presupposition ('You dont really love me') you admit to it. It's weird how human dynamics work. That is why this is such an important skill to master.

Here is the formula behind this type of verbal abuse: If you really x, then you wouldn't y. In most cases respond only to the 'x'. The 'y' is their for distraction.

Here is an answer that will stop this 'game' in it's tracks. "When did you start thinking that I don't love you?"

to be continued

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense ISBN 0735200890 VerbalAbuse Breath Posture