Psychology Jokes

Found on Psychologists' Doors

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep" "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you." "I took an IQ test and the results were negative." "Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear." "Give me ambiguity or give me something else." "Have you drugged your kids today?" "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." "Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home." "3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't." "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" "He who laughs last, thinks slowest" "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."